Blog | Topic: Parents
Feb 6, 2013
I (Matt Reitnour) entered the field of college admission at a small, private, Christian institution in Western New York during the fall of 2001. I didn’t grow up dreaming of becoming an admission counselor (who does?) but shortly after starting my new job, I realized that the work suited my interests and abilities. Roughly a decade later I made the transition to college counseling at a private, college preparatory school, where I regularly draw upon my experiences in college admission. Though there are differences between my past and current positions, one commonality is that they both provide opportunities to serve and guide students and parents in a process that can be agonizing, exciting, overwhelming and critically important all at the same time. That process is, of course, the college search.
Navigating the college search can be challenging. For starters, there are a lot of schools out there! If you lump all the post-secondary institutions in the United States together you wind up with a figure in excess of 4,000. Granted, this number can be broken down into more manageable chunks based on institution type (universities, liberal arts colleges, trade schools, Bible colleges, etc.), but the bottom line is that you’re still left with a veritable cacophony of choices. How are high school students and their parents to decide among all of these options?
Download the rest of the article (.pdf) by Matt J. Reitnour here.
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Jan 31, 2013
Nappanee Missionary Church (NMC) in Nappanee, Indiana is committed to helping youth and families develop a faith that “sticks” after high school. Over the past few years the people of NMC have been greatly challenged by statistics that suggests many students who grow up in the church leave the faith after high school. NMC has also been significantly influenced, encouraged and equipped by the Sticky Faith research and resources provided by Fuller Theological Seminary. So much so, in fact, that one of NMC’s staff members includes the phrase “sticky faith” in his job title. His main responsibilities are helping the church think through a “sticky faith perspective” for all ages and levels of discipleship.
This past weekend I had the honor of spending time with students and parents at NMC. I presented the College Transition Seminar, was interviewed by youth pastor Derry Prenkert during three worship services and spoke to the youth group about Identity Matters on Sunday evening (cut a little short by an ice storm!). It was encouraging to see a church that is thinking deeply and strategically about how to best serve and disciple students and families. Thank you, NMC, for your example to all of us!
Click here to watch a video of Derry’s sermon (The Exchange Lane) and my interview (15:08).
Click here to download (.pdf) the sermon notes as well as to see a collection of helpful “Sticky Faith” resources.
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Jan 22, 2013
Higher education has taken a lot of heat in the past few years. Many pundits and families are starting to question the value of a college degree. Time Magazine listed “questioning the value of higher education” as one of the top-ten consumer trends of 2012. Last fall, Newsweek ran a cover story asking the question “Is College A Lousy Investment?” (related video). Last week, the newest research from Pew’s Economic Mobility Project, revealed that a four-year college degree helped shield the latest graduates from a range of poor employment outcomes during the recession. There is now plenty of “research” to support both sides of the argument. It’s enough to make your head spin.
Not too long ago, a study by Georgetown University’s Center on Education and the Workforce revealed the earning potential of different college majors. It turns out, not surprisingly, that people who major in engineering, physical sciences and business make more money than students with degrees in the arts, education or psychology. This quote from one of the researches really stuck out to me: “This is going to be the real course catalog for parents and students.” Meaning, families will look to this research when making decisions on colleges to attend and courses to take. Should that be the case? Here’s a question we might miss: What is higher education for?
For Christians I think there can be some real tension here. On the one hand, we want to make wise decisions about college, not over spending and accumulating debt for something that isn’t worth the money. I’ve watched too many students and parents go into crippling debt to obtain a degree that may take a lifetime to pay off. On the other hand, followers of Christ are motivated by different factors when it comes to work and career and live life based on a very different definition of success. In losing life, we find it. A life well-lived is in service to God and neighbor. There’s more to college (and life) than the “earning” potential of a college degree.
My advice would be this: keep both of these factors in tension. Make wise financial decisions about college, avoiding debt as much as possible. And, be attentive to God’s lead, asking good questions about the motivations of your heart as you decide on a college and a major. As followers of Jesus, as with all decisions, we must always be willing to count the cost of discipleship.
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Dec 10, 2012
According to a recent study conducted by Stanford University, only 1 in 5 (20%) of teenagers “express a clear vision of where they want to go, what they want to accomplish and why.” Many youth workers and parents are concerned with teen apathy and directionlessness. Even Christian teens seem to have a difficult time connecting their faith with their future plans and career aspirations. What is needed in many churches and youth groups today is a robust theology of vocation. Enter Stephen J. Nichols and is very helpful booklet (only 30 pages!) What is Vocation? (P&R Publishing).
While this booklet is useful for everyone in the church, much of the content and concern derives from his work with teens during the formative years as a college professor. He writes, “It’s the goal of this booklet for you to see all of your work, whether you get a paycheck for it or not, whether it’s considered a noble profession or a menial task, as germane to your calling as a child of God and a disciple of Christ… The doctrine of vocation enables us to see our work, all our work, as a means by which we can serve, worship, glorify, and enjoy God.”
Not only does the booklet provide a biblical, theological and historical overview of the doctrine of vocation, but it also makes connections with personal stories and popular culture. This is recommended reading for anyone who desires a deeper understanding of calling. It would be especially helpful to youth workers and parents who want to instill the value of calling and purpose in their teens.
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Dec 7, 2012
Timothy Clydesdale published his groundbreaking book The First Year Out: Understanding American Teens After High School in 2007. After reading it, I immediately knew that the findings from his research would significantly shape the work of CPYU’s College Transition Initiative. I also knew that I needed to interview Dr. Clydesdale to ask him to help us connect the dots from his research to youth ministry. He agreed and our short interview not only led to a friendship but it also was widely circulated in many online and print media outlets.
Most recently and notably, the interview was cited in two important books, Consuming Youth: Leading Teens Through Consumer Culture and Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids. Because of its popularity and powerful message, the interview has been reformatted for easier reading and distribution.
Click here to download (.pdf) my interview with Dr. Clydesdale, first published in 2007. Feel free to pass it along, especially to parents and youth workers who are thinking strategically about how to help young people develop a faith that lasts.
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Nov 28, 2012
Is your son or daughter planning to go to college? Do you assume that someone, maybe a guidance counselor, will help him or her get into a college? Are you confused by the college admissions process? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, I highly recommend Crazy U: One Dad’s Crash Course in Getting His Kid Into College by journalist Andrew Ferguson. It is an entertaining and engaging read, combining a good blend of laugh out loud humor and informative advice.
Ferguson writes about his experience walking through the process with his son. “For Americans who had gone to college in the fifties, sixties, or early seventies, a process that had seemed rather straightforward—find a school, preferably nearby, figure out how to pay for it, leave home, study, flirt, party—now appeared unexpectedly elaborate and crucially important, complicated by a bewildering array of plausible options and eager come-ons. Parents seemed slightly stunned, and then uneasy, and then confused.” As a journalist and parent, Ferguson was compelled to write a book to help eliminate the confusion. He explains, “For every piece of advice or information a parent or child receives while applying to college, there is an equal and opposite piece of advice or information that will contradict it.”
What’s most appealing about this book is that Ferguson isn’t afraid to challenge the assumption that everyone should go to college or even that one has to go to college to be successful. He challenges readers to consider why they want their child to go to college and whether or not a bachelor’s degree is the best way to meet their aspirations. Ferguson is especially concerned about the cost of college and wants to prevent parents from spending too much money on something that may not ultimately deliver what they want: a child with marketable skills and job prospects. Crazy U is worth reading by anyone trying to sort through the college admissions process and the proper place of education in the lives of young people.
Watch a video with the author and his son here.
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Nov 26, 2012
During a seminar for transitioning high school students and their parents, a parent made a comment that was very helpful. I was discussing the place of doubt within the life of a follower of Christ. One of my main points I really wanted the students to grasp was this: “It is okay to ask questions and to have doubts about faith.” In fact, I explained, doubting is part of the normal process of taking ownership of their faith. I challenged students with these words:
Faith does not deepen through being allowed to stagnate, but through being applied. In this respect, doubt is a positive thing. It is a stimulus to growth in faith. It snaps us out of complacency. – Alister McGrath
The reason many of us do not ardently believe in the gospel is that we have never given it rigorous testing, thrown our hard questions at it, faced it with our most prickly doubts. – Eugene Peterson
A parent raised his hand and made an insightful observation. He turned toward the students and said, “If you come across a difficult problem in algebra, you don’t have a math crisis. You go to someone for help. And you start with the assumption that you will be able to find an answer. Do the same thing when questions arise about the Christian faith.”
Now that’s a great point! Questions and doubts will come. The question is what will students do with them? Will they go looking for answers: asking pastors, reading books, taking them to God in prayer? I hope so. Here’s my advice in Make College Count: “Just know that when you hear a powerful argument against Christian faith, chances are pretty good that you can find a thoughtful Christian response.”
A report from the Barna Group revealed “Six Reasons Young Christians Leave Church.” Reason #6 states: “The church feels unfriendly to those who doubt.” Now that shouldn’t be the case. Here are a few resources to help us better prepare students for the doubts they will face and for helping the church to be a more welcoming place for those who are wrestling with faith:
Link: www.cpyu.org/whybelieve
Article: “Where Doubt Falls Short” by Jonathan Dunn (Relevant).
Article: “I Doubt It: Allowing Space for Questions” by Kara Powell and Brad Griffin of the Fuller Youth Institute.
Video: John Ortberg, Faith and Doubt (Calvin College’s January Series)
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Nov 20, 2012
Research from the Fuller Youth Institute reveals surprising insights into instilling lasting faith in young people. It is estimated that around 50% of students that grow up in the Christian faith walk away from the church after high school. Many church leaders have known about this growing trend but have not been sure what to do about it. The Fuller Youth Institute, under the direction of Dr. Kara Powell, conducted a ground-breaking, four-year study of this phenomenon. This “Sticky Faith” research followed teenagers from their senior year of high school until their senior year of college, hoping to discover what helped them to make their faith stick. Dr. Powell explains, “As many churches and denominations experience decline, and as anxious parents wonder about their children’s futures, the Sticky Faith research has the power to spark a movement that not only changes youth, but also families and churches.”
Here are three key findings to consider: First, while most U.S. churches focus on building strong youth groups, teenagers also need to build relationships with adults of all ages. Teens need intergenerational community. Second, churches and families overestimate youth group graduates’ readiness for the struggles ahead with dire consequences for the faith. Most teens are not ready for the challenges and temptations of life after high school. Third, while teaching young people the “dos” and “don’ts” of Christian living is important, an overemphasis on behaviors can sabotage faith long-term. Teens desperately need a Gospel of heart transformation, not just behavior modification.
Visit the Sticky Faith website to learn more about the research and to discover helpful resources that equip parents and churches to nurture in young people a faith that lasts.
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Nov 16, 2012
We try to finish strong in almost every area of life. Runners sprint toward the finish line. Sports’ teams make a final push to make the playoffs. Candidates deliver their best speeches right before Election Day. Retirees talk about moving from success to significance. And then there is high school. Many students coast through their final year. Limping toward the finish line has become the norm. There’s even a word for it: “Senioritis.” With 11 years of schooling behind them, some students develop an allergic reaction to institutions of education.
It might be easy for parents to adapt a similar posture and coast through the final year of parenting a high-schooler. Raising teens is hard work. While most students are ready for high school to be over, many parents might be just as ready for their kids to move on. It’s understandable. But that attitude could cause parents to miss a remarkable opportunity to engage their teens in more meaningful conversations. And teens need it.
According to William Damon of Stanford University, only 20 percent of teens “express a clear vision of where they want to go, what they want to accomplish and why.” Many students don’t seem to know why or if they want to go to college, what they want to study or what kind of career they want to pursue. I recently heard one student put it like this: “Going to college would be a waste of my time and my parent’s money. I have no idea what I want to do after high school.”
It’s easy to be frustrated by a young person’s apathy and lack of vision for the future, but have we done enough to equip teens with a better vision for how to make the most of their senior year? In his eye-opening book, The First Year Out: Understanding American Teens after High School, sociologist Timothy Clydesdale suggests: “More can be done to encourage those teens who do want to examine the purpose or direction of their lives by engaging them at deeper levels before the first year out of high school.” As your teens get ready to transition to their senior year, here is a “3-D vision” to keep in front of them…
Download the full article (PDF) here.
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Nov 5, 2012
David Kinnaman’s most recent book You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church… And Rethinking Faith (Baker Books) begins with bad news: “Millions of young adults leave active involvement in church as they exit their teen years.” But the good news is that many of the teens who give up on the church, aren’t necessarily walking away from Jesus. Many of them are simply looking for more meaningful ways to follow Jesus in contemporary culture.
The Barna Group has been criticized of late for supposedly being “alarmist” and for using a flawed research methodology. Most of the criticism has come from a few, Christian, social scientists. I think much of the criticism is overstated. What is so refreshing about You Lost Me is that it doesn’t rely solely on Barna statistics. It pulls from a variety of sources and notes the shortcomings of all research. Kinnaman writes: “I want to provide here a nuanced, data-driven assessment of young adults’ faith journeys. In our evidence gathering, interviews, and data analysis, the Barna team’s goal is to construct the most accurate picture we can of cultural reality, because the church is called to be the church in the real world. In this research, we have done our best to uncover the facts and the truth of the dropout problem, and this book is the compilation of our best thinking on the subject thus far—but it is hardly the final answer.”
I have read much of and have benefitted greatly from the recent sociological research on the religious attitudes of late adolescents and emerging adults from leading sociologists such as Jeffrey Arnett, Chap Clark, Tim Clydesdale, Donna Freitas, Christian Smith, and Robert Wuthnow. Kinnaman’s findings affirm and support much of what is found among leading social scientists. My hope is that You Lost Me is received as a welcomed addition to that conversation. It is as good and as thorough as anything else I have read concerning young adult spirituality.
You Lost Me is clear and compelling. It is thoughtful and balanced. It should be read by everyone concerned for the church; pastors, parents, educators, even students will benefit from Kinnaman’s wisdom. He rightly identifies the church “dropout problem” as a “disciple-making” problem, explaining, “The church is not adequately preparing the next generation to follow Christ in a rapidly changing culture.” You Lost Me not only identifies the reasons why many young adults stop attending church but it also provides disciples-making suggestions for how to get them back. The book also features a collection of fifty “ideas for passing on a flourishing, deep-rooted faith.” CPYU president Walt Mueller and I are among the contributors.
Visit www.YouLostMeBook.com to learn more.
Watch a video about You Lost Me here.
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